


NG+ chapter 63,5

by Tayani



Series: NG+ [6]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Companion Piece, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Goro Akechi Staring Forlornly Out The Window, Goro's PoV, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22088242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tayani/pseuds/Tayani
Summary: A companion piece to NG+After Akira disappears, all Goro can do is wait.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Morgana, Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: NG+ [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1223210
Comments: 9
Kudos: 208





	NG+ chapter 63,5

The rain fell steadily, the droplets running down the windowpanes.

Goro looked at the endless trickle of raindrops in silence. Unbidden, memories of his childhood resurfaced in his mind. In the many foster homes he’s been passed through, there were always too few toys for all of the children there. There were definitely not enough for a weak, small boy like himself. And so, on rainy days, Goro would sit by the windows and pretend the falling droplets were – oh, all sorts of things. Sometimes, they’d be armies – small droplets the foot soldiers, bigger ones the cavalry – and Goro would observe their endless battles with bated breath, imagining himself the general, shouting orders out in a whisper so the other children wouldn’t hear. Sometimes, they’d be race cars or horses, and Goro would cheer for one droplet to win the race as they steadily ran down the windowpane.

Other times, they’d be just droplets of water, keeping him company as he cried.

Briefly, Goro closed his eyes, his head resting heavily against the window frame. Rain in December – how long has it been since they’ve had a rain this heavy in December? And yet here it was, lulling him gently with the steady pitter-patter, bringing unwanted memories back.

“Goro, are you asleep?”

Morgana’s voice was hushed, barely above a whisper – but it was still enough to shake Goro off whatever dream his mind was slowly slipping into. He jerked awake, blinking the sleepiness away and then looked down at the cat, managing a weak smile. His head rested, once again, on the window frame.

“I can’t really fall asleep, Morgana,” Goro lied smoothly, rubbing at his eyes. The circles under them were starting to look alarmingly deep, he knew. Even with makeup on, they’d still show. But…

“Liar,” Morgana frowned, sitting down by the bed, his tail beating anxiously against the wooden floor. Goro’s eyes flickered to his friend, and then to the whole of the silent, dark attic. It was almost ridiculously clean – he’s been cleaning this space obsessively for the last couple of days, just to busy himself with something. It helped with passing the time, but the new cleanliness of the place made certain things stand out all the more, jarring to look at.

In the middle of the perfectly clean floor, there was a single sock, just laying there. On the chair by the shelves where clothes have been folded with an alarming level of precision, there was a random pair of jeans simply dropped there, with a T-shirt that could use a wash half-hanging off of the other side. On the desk, amidst neat piles of documents and textbooks, bits and pieces of actual trash remaining after lockpick production had been strewn about and never tidied up.

No matter how many times Goro cleaned and how obsessively he worked on turning the attic into the most cosy, welcoming room he could, he’d leave these little things be. They were what remained of the boy who disappeared from this room just a few days ago; the only signs he was there just a little while before. Goro preserved each and every one of these signs, as if he tried to keep Akira in the attic even as days passed and his boyfriend’s presence evaporated with them.

From down on the floor, Morgana sighed.

“It won’t do any of us any good, you know, if you keep forcing yourself to stay awake,” he said, but it felt as if he was only doing that as a formality, because it was expected of him. Morgana’s voice was dejected, tired in more ways than one. Goro let his gaze return to the steady flow of raindrops down the windowpanes.

“It won’t make any difference though, will it? Please, just… leave me be.”

Goro heard Morgana sigh again, and then felt a little dip of the bed when he jumped up. Morgana’s little paws climbed onto Goro’s lap as the cat curled up there, his tail still beating anxiously. Goro moved his hand, gently stroking down Morgana’s soft fur.

“I know,” he said, after a long while. “You can’t sleep either, can you?”

The two of them sat silently, staring outside the window. The dawn was only just breaking over Yongen Jaya, flooding the empty streets with dim, grey light. The rain was letting up; through the dancing curtain of raindrops, Goro could see a poster barely hanging onto the wall where he put it just yesterday, heavy with water. The  _ Missing Person  _ headline looked blurry – from distance or rain, it was hard to tell – and Goro could barely make out Akira’s face on the photo underneath. He closed his eyes again, his fists clenching instinctively. Morgana made a small sound and shifted in his lap.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said quietly. Goro felt a wry smile twist his lips.

“Please… don’t patronize me, Morgana. I knew something wasn’t right and I still allowed him to go, just because of how damn  _ sleepy  _ I was. If it’s not my fault, then—”

“I woke up to see him leave, too,” Morgana said quietly, interrupting him. “And I went back to sleep, too. I assumed if Akira was going out so early in the morning, it was to get you some stupid flowers or something. I didn’t—My point is, if him disappearing is your fault, then it’s mine, too.”

Goro sighed. He wanted to argue, but he had no strength to argue anymore, so he just let it be. He shuddered as another set of unwelcome memories flooded his mind.

Akira waking up from an obvious nightmare, lying to him about it being nothing. The few last moments of happiness he felt; the gentle words and sweet gestures, all blurred up by how sleepy Goro was at the time. Akira sitting up, trying to get out of bed, and his own unsuccessful attempt at stopping him. And then, hours later, the growing panic when the boy who promised he’d be back before Goro even knew he was gone failed to appear; when they found out no one had heard from him, no one saw him. The days that followed – all mixing and blending together now, like some kind of an awful dream. The desperate flurry of running around, searching, jumping up at every signal from his phone; the hellish hours of inactivity when there was nothing to do but wait, when he needed to sit here, in the attic his boyfriend was in just hours, days before, and chew through all the events again and again. The guilt, dropping at him in every moment of inactivity, gnawing at his heart.  _ If only I woke up more; if only I managed to stop him; if only I insisted we go together _ …

“…you  _ should  _ sleep, though,” Morgana finally said, after another long, silent moment. Goro opened his eyes and looked down at him, only half-able to focus on his friend’s worried glance. Morgana sighed and stood up, kneading his paws against Goro’s thigh.

“Look,” he said quietly. “We’re going to the Metaverse tomorrow. We have no idea what’s waiting for us there. And you’re the leader now; you owe it to everyone to be in top shape. Goro, I… It’s just a feeling, what I told you when we went scouting into Mementos the other day. I  _ think  _ I can sense Akira somewhere down there; or at least  _ something  _ like him, it’s… it’s really hard to tell. Still, we decided to go with that, and… that means we need to claw our way all the way down to the Depths of Mementos. It’ll be long and dangerous. And you haven’t been sleeping properly since Akira disappeared.”

Goro was still simply staring down at him, eyes blank and unseeing. Morgana frowned at him and then looked out of the window again.

“Akira’s not going to come walking down the street, Goro,” Morgana finally said. “I know this is what you’re hoping for, deep down. To just see him walking home, mark the end of this nightmare. Hey, I… I want that, too, I really do. But… It’s not going to happen. If Akira’s down  _ there _ … if he’s being kept there against his will, for whatever reason… he will need  _ our  _ help to get out.”

Slowly, wordlessly, his eyes still blank and strangely vulnerable at the same time, Goro leaned down. His body tilted backwards until he fell against the pillows, finally resting. Morgana jumped off of his lap and marched up the bed, curling up by his head.

“…right,” the cat said hesitantly, scooting a bit closer. “Just let yourself rest, okay? I’ll be here, if you need anything.”

“…what if he’s not there?”

Goro’s voice was quiet; so much so it was barely even a whisper. Still, it made Morgana straighten up, his ears flickering to attention. The cat seemed to hesitate before asking.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, Morgana,” Goro snapped, his eyes closed already. “What if he’s… what if we’re too late, and he’s already… what if…”

Goro fell silent; the words he wanted to say weighed too heavy on his lips. His hands trembled and then clenched on the sheets; his body tensed up, slowly curling up into a ball. Finally; just as the first dry, desperate sob shook through him, Morgana stood up again and climbed on top of the trembling boy, curling up roughly over his heart and starting to purr comfortingly.

“He’s not,” he said, his claws digging into Goro’s nightshirt, just hard enough to let themselves be known, to reassure and ground rather than hurt. “We’ll find him, Goro. You just need to believe that. And then you can smack his head for worrying all of us. Do that real hard, too; if you won’t, I’ll just need to re-smack for good measure.”

Goro knew Morgana tried to make him smile. It didn’t work; he was still shaking with muffled, choked-back sobs, with the misery he tried oh, so hard to keep at bay lest it overwhelms him. But even if the sad attempts at jokes weren’t working very well, Goro was still grateful. One of his hands came up, shakily stroking through Morgana’s fur.

“We’ll find him, Goro,” the cat said quietly, nuzzling the hand. “Just a little longer. I promise; we’ll definitely bring him back to you.” 

Goro didn’t reply; but as his hand slowly fell down from over Morgana’s fur and his sobs turned into calm breaths, Morgana understood this was simply because he finally fell asleep. The cat sighed softly again and carefully slid down onto the bed, stealing one last look through the window.

“...hang in there, Akira,” he said, quietly. “There’s people waiting for you here.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Bloo for betaing this chapter!
> 
> If you like my stories and would like updates on my writing process/life/current obsessions, you can find me on twitter [@mikan_writings](https://twitter.com/mikan_writings)!


End file.
